From Stuck to Success

Social Ecstasy Emotional Diagram

The Secret Skills to Success are

  • Social
  • Emotional
  • Ecstasy

Some of us wake up drained

Some of us wake up re-charged. 

The hormones in the body that affect which way the body shows up are: 

Happy Brain Chemicals

Dopamine – Functions include: Pleasure, Fine Motor Skills and Preservation of our body. 

Oxytocin – Known as the maternal hormone, but also arises when we have physical contact with another human. 

Serotonin – A mood regulator related to happiness. Lowered levels are noted in people with depression. 

Endorphins – Reduces pain, boosts pleasure and overall gives us a feeling of wellbeing. 

Cortisol – This chemical controls your fight or flight and can leave you feeling fearful and drained if not managed. It also manages blood sugar, metabolism & inflammation. 

We need to learn how to trigger these different hormones because they charge up our batteries to enhance our creativity and critical thinking. 

Being able to do this sets us up to develop skills. 

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Sometimes we try to force skills training when we are really starved to meet Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. 

An example of this might be a student struggling to read. – We tend to pile more reading on him because we think he needs to “practice” when in actuality there are many other things going on that we need to address before he can concentrate on learning.

For example, if there is a tumult at home or if he is tired, hungry or self-conscious about his clothes being dirty, more reading assignments aren’t going to help him. 

He needs his personal needs met first. 

I found this study very fascinating and related it back to my own experiences as a school nurse. We saw these students that needed personal needs met. They were great kids. All they needed was to feel safe, satisfy hunger and get a bit of rest before they could effectively do school work. 

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Developing Skills

Once personal needs are met then skills can develop 

Even in adulthood we often try to force-feed skills but if your emotional batteries are not charged, you feel drained, anxious or overwhelmed you will not be productive and efficient in developing skills. 

Often the way we feel is chemically dictated. Not to say we can’t change our attitude – we can change the chemicals going on in our body by consciously changing our attitude. 

I have had times when I come home from the office tired, and I’m sure you have as well, and just don’t feel like jumping into the home life or whatever else needs to be done. But with some quiet reflection, while on your way home or a few minutes before entering a room, you can change your attitude and the whole intention and outcome of what you are about to do. It is for sure easier, as I’m sure you have noticed, to do when you are not overtired or over-hungry etc., to manage the mood you show up with. 

“Don’t worry about how to succeed but how to strive to add value to those around you.

Albert Einstein

Feeling Overwhelmed and Unfulfilled

The most frequently diagnosed emotional problems and the reason people are missing work or failing to show up is these days are: Stress, Anxiety, Depression and being overwhelmed. 

These are the cause of people feeling unfulfilled in life

Woman Juggling

If we pay attention to these things going on in our own life – we can tune out the noise of so many things coming at us, tune into “recharging” our bodies and feel so much happier and more productive in our lives.  

Elizabeth Gilbert (in the interview I listened to) talked about the 5 F’s.  Take these into consideration both personally & professionally as well. 

  • Faith
  • Family
  • Finance
  • Friends
  • Fitness

Think of these 5 F’s as 5 balls you are juggling – only realize family & fitness need to be handled as though they are glass balls. 

Without our health (fitness) we can’t be helpful to others, and without taking care of our family everything else around us will eventually crumble. No one ever wakes up and says “I wish I had worked more” but if we miss time with family it is gone.

To me Faith is a very high priority because it may be hard to stay grounded in what is important in this world without it.  Finance and friends are still important but can be shuffled around a little more. 

Life really does seem like such a balancing act…

Family and Fitness can only be dropped a couple of times to be damaged. So even during times in your life when you feel the need to hustle it is important to put time in for family & fitness.

Man Swinging Kids Beach Sunset

The author I got these ideas from mentioned that she has never met a successful person in life that doesn’t have a story of hardship behind them.  Upon reflection, I’ve come to realize that this really has been the case for me. I have had a lot of tough times in my life that have made me stronger. I’m sure you have had hard times in your life that have made you a stronger person as well. 

If this is anything you want to share with me I look forward to hearing from you. 

Until Next timeBe WellMary Howard RN

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